The Shit Blizzard: Soul Catcher
by GeohazardMs
Summary: Alternate version just jogging in my head. What if the Trailer Park Boys Season 5 last episode Shit Blizzard had an alternate ending? What if events were different, and the efforts of drunk Jim Lahey weren't enough to pull Ricky through? What if Ricky never woke up? Find out what may have happened.
1. Chapter 1

Trailer Park Boys Fanfiction

Note: I do not own Trailer Park Boys nor any of the characters in this fanfiction. All characters and show from the creators, not myself. This is a possible alternate take on the last episode of Season 5's "The Shit Blizzard."I am just a fan that thought about a possible alternate loop that could have happened. Reviews and thoughts extremely welcome! There needs to be more Trailer Park Boys fanfiction. After all, it's Ed Edd n Eddy for adults, and who doesn't love Ed Edd n Eddy.

A Shit Blizzard Goes Through It

Chapter 1: Damn I Pissed Myself

"Bubs…AGHHG…You gotta look after Trinity for me bud."

"Ricky, don't say things like that. You're gonna be fine, don't talk like…"

"Make sure when she gets the car she checks the transmission fluid."

"You can check it, you're gonna be fine."

[Bullets firing all over the place, Glass shattering, trailers being banged up]

"Damn I pissed myself."

"Ricky?...AAAHHHH." Bubbles grew wide-eyed, now more worried and terrified beyond rational thought.

Julian and Randy were firing protection shots behind Lahey's vehicle against Cyrus and the Flappy Bird Twins.

"COVER ME BOY!"

Jim Lahey stammered over, still sucking down his drink to Ricky and Bubbles. The instigating drunk, behind the gears of the immense gun fight taking place was motivated enough by Julian's "Officer Lahey" speech to help Ricky in a major crisis.

Ricky was suffering a heart attack in the middle of an all-out gunfight. He blacked out.

"How long has he been out Bubbles?"

"OOHH about six minutes Mr. Lahey!"

"That's too long Bubbles. No brain could stand without oxygen that long…If I did revive him Bubbles, he'd just be a vegetable."

"But Mr. Lahey, I think probably his brain, uses way less oxygen than a normal brain. Maybe he's got, like, a lot more time than a normal person. Can't you just try, he's my best friend, come on!"

"I'll give it a try."

"Just do what you do."

"Thousand-one [push], thousand-two[push]."

[Gunshots blazing about from the Flappy Birds and Randy, Cyrus shouting RELOAD! RELOEAD!]

"Thousand-one [push]."

"Come on Ricky!"

" Thousand-two[push]."

"Thousand-three [push], thousand-four[push]."

"Come on Ricky. PLEASE!"

"Thousand-five [push], thousand-six[push]."

"Bubbles, how's he doin?"

"Not Good Julian, he passed out like seven minutes ago and Lahey's still doing CPR!"

"Have him keep going, he'll wake up!"

"Thousand-thirteen [push], thousand-fourteen[push]."

Bubbles started quivering, "Ricky, you better not go, you got me and Julian to think about!"

"Thousand-twenty-one [push], thousand-twenty-two[push]."

"You got Sunnyvale and the guys from Jail who all love you!"

"Thousand-twenty-one [push], thousand-twenty-two[push]."

"You got Lucy and Sarah!"

"Thousand-twenty-nine [push], thousand-thirty[push]."

"You got Trinity to LOVE Ricky, you're her father and she needs you. Please don't go!"

Jim Lahey repeated the CPR steps for over eight minutes. Officer Ted Johnson came back from whatever the hell he was doing, saw Jim performing CPR on Ricky, and immediately called a bus over to the scene.

"PLEASE!"

Six more minutes pass. Ricky has been out for over fifteen minutes. Gunshots were still going, but the hash war was finally dying down. Heavy Metal Dickhead and the Twins were now trying to high-tail it out of Sunnyvale. The cops eventually swarmed the area. Cyrus and the Flappy Birds were detained, along with Julian. They were taken, but Julian was struggling as hard as he could against the cops to see Ricky. The crowd of Bubbles, Mr. Lahey, Ted Johnson and George Green with several other police officers was growing.

Julian struggled even further before he rampaged off the cops holding him. "Fuck off guys, come on! Let me see if he's okay!" Julian was sickly worried. He rushed over the Bubbles and Mr. Lahey.

"Jim, why hasn't he woken up yet?"

"Julian, I'm doing the best I can here. I've been giving Ricky over twenty minutes of CPR, piss drunk in the middle of a fucking gun fight, I'm trying."

Bubbles was beginning to tear up now." Julian,… I think he's gone."


	2. Chapter 2: I Tried Bubs

Chapter 2: I tried Bubs

Julian just stood there; absolutely stun to realize what he was experiencing. The gate of emotions opened, swallowing Julian in. His best friend, his childhood playmate, his partner in crime, his family, has gone. Ricky was lifeless lying behind the shitmobile with a major piss-stain on his track-pants, with a drunk Lahey still administering CPR with intermittent drinks.

"FUUCCKK!" Was all Julian could muster. He hit the ground with his knees, holding his tears back. He grabbed Bubble's shoulders and hugged him.

"Bubbles,….gghhff….Bubbles, I need you to be strong for us. I need you to watch the park while I'm gone. Ghghghgh….Most important, is that you watch over Trinity for me. Ricky would want that more than anything in the world!"

Bubbles sniveling, "Mhggh…I know Julian, he told me before…., I still think he can wake up Julian. He's gotten through a lot worst."

Julian still held Bubbles in a big bear hug. "I fucking hope so Bubs. He's a persistent fucker, he's too stupid to quit on us. Ghghg…..watch Trin for me Bubs, alright? She and Lucy are going to need all the support they can get."

"I will Julian."

He put his hands behind his head, letting Ted and George take him to the cruiser; hand-cuffed, and put in the back of the squad car, before finally leaving. Julian saw the ambulance rushing midway through Sunnyvale. He was going to jail, and he was most likely never going to see Ricky ever again. Both were in a gun fight, but it wasn't the guns that killed. It was something more mundane and unexpected. The stress he put the guys under from stealing that hash from Cyrus, storing at Ricky's dad's place, the loss of all his money and trailer, the gunfights in Sunnyvale, was all mixing in with the thought that he may have inadvertently caused Ricky's heart attack. He slouched over, silently tearing up and thinking about how he fucked this all up.

The paramedics rushed by Bubbles and Mr. Lahey. They escorted them to the side, but Bubbles rushed to one of them on the side.

"Hold up! Guys, wait! Is there any chance of him still being alive still? I think Ricky's just taking a long time because the oxygen he gets isn't all that much he usually gets, and the CPR could have overloaded his brain."

The Paramedics were rushing Ricky into the ambulance.

"We don't know sir. We'll do the best we can with what we've got. He'll be going directly to the ER. We'll contact you when we have updates."

"Well, can I at least go fucking with him? He's my best friend!" Bubbles was begging the paramedics.

"I'm sorry sir, but his condition is still too unstable; we can't risk it."

"Fine! Son of a whore. COCKSUCKER!" Bubbles couldn't do anything at the moment. He had to try and stay level-headed as best he could. He was the most emotional of the trio, but he understood that he had to stay strong in this matter. Things were fucked up before, now they're beyond cocked up.

The cops finally left after getting testimony from Lahey and Randy. Bubbles remembered that they were the grand orchestrators of this bullshit gun-fight. Intense rage began boiling in Bubbles. If it wasn't for those drunk fucks, the stress of the gunfight might have not taken Ricky away.

"Are you happy Mr. Lahey? You finally got what you wanted. Ricky's gone, and you're the reason! I hope you're happy you fucking drunk. You too ya cheeseburger eating, barbeque sauce, liquored-up coagulated bastard!"

"Bubs, you know I hate Ricky, but I did try my best bud. I couldn't get him. I'm truly sorry."

"Yeah bubs, Mr. Lahey tried all that CPR stuff for a long time. He did the best he could do. It was a fucked situation."

Bubbles still brooding, pointed at them. "You just wait for yours Lahey. You're gonna get bit in the arse eventually. You're fuckin lucky I don't fucking crank you both out right now."

Bubbles was still in his fighting stance, intimidating Lahey and Randy, until he put his hands and arms over his head to breath and regain his composure."If you'll excuse me, I need to not be by you arsholes right now." Bubbles needed to take some time to relax and reflect on his next actions, and gain some sanity by the comfort of feeding his kitties and holding them.

"I really did try bubs."

"Go fuck yourself!" With that, Bubbles power-walked to his shed.

Jim Lahey stood there, with Randy in to, by Julian's trailer entrance.

"Mr. Lahey, is Ricky's dead?"

Mr. Lahey gurgled, "Probably Randy, taken off by the angels as we speak." There was silence for a moment.

"Well Bobandy, we made a Shit Blizzard...was it worth it?"

"Mr. Lahey, you tried to save Ricky! Don't listen to Bubbles. Ricky was really frigged to you, but you still tried. You're a hero Mr. Lahey for trying to bring him back. Besides, you were trying to clean up the park. It was for the greater good, like you said."

"I don't know boy. I thought this is what I wanted. I wanted to be rid of those reprobates. The liquor was telling me something that isn't making sense to me anymore Rands. Maybe this was just a major colossal fuck up. I let those shit-puppets fight, and I should be shining like the shit was baked off the sun, like the stress between to shit plates was released. The liquor called the shots bobandy. I don't feel good boy."


End file.
